Thinking of You
by Vani Jane
Summary: SxS Shinn gets a hangover from last night and sees Stellar in his bathroom mirror. P.S. Yhannen/Seedling's back--I changed my username!


**A/N: **I'm back—yet I don't know for how long! This just popped out of my head from utter boredom and I hope it's good enough. I was actually listening to Katy Perry's "I'm Thinking Of You" while making this and it was supposed to come out differently than this. But my hands and fingers moved on their own, so meh. **READ** and **REVIEW**! **Oh, and I changed my username!**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Seed Destiny or any of it's characters. They belong to Sunrise. I don't even own Dr. Trent and Elli, they belong to the Harvest Moon series which belongs to Natsume. Zoner also doesn't belong to me, it belongs to the In Death series by J.D. Robb a.k.a. Nora Roberts.

**NOTE: **I will continue updating _**Love IS Stupid**_. As for the rest, they are on a hiatus until _**Love IS Stupid**_would be completed.

"**Thinking of You"**

Shinn Asuka woke up in the morning, still a bit drowsy and having a headache from last night's festivities. Dearka had been promoted back to the red uniform and for some reason, it was worth celebrasting over. Not that it was a good thing. If Dearka was promoted, he'd have gained his special treatment—Dearka with special treatment was a big hell no.

There were too many things to celebrate about for last night.

Yzak and Shiho made the announcement that they were getting married and that Shiho was due in five months. It also happened to be a late celebration of PLANTS' chairowman Clyne's birthday and of course, there was Kira proposing to her—another bodyguard and princess couple emerges into the newspapers.

Shinn groaned as he tried to get up from bed. When he did, he walked towards the bathroom to get a bloody cold shower to ease his headache. However that might help him in his predicament.

God, he wasted himself too much last night. And Dearka wasn't helping at all, the blonde man was shoving more drinks under his chin! He was only seventeen for God's sake, he was underaged!

But that was the special treatment Dearka had, he could force Shinn to do anything he asked the poor boy to do since he had more experience than Shinn. Which Shinn didn't undertstand, they were both Reds—they were equal. Dearka wasn't even a FAITH member, he was!

Then again, Dearka had more favour to the new chairwoman than Shinn. And he had blundered in the last war completely. Trying to kill the chairwoman's lover wasn't going to get you on her good side at all, even more so when you tried to shoot down the chairwoman's pink battleship. It just wasn't right.

It was just right he got his butt kicked. He needed it. God knew he did. He deserved it for all the things he had done.

Yet it wasn't over. No, he still deserved more punishment. It wasn't enough. Being thrown off his DESTINY wasn't enough. He was still using her it had been a year and still, he didn't know how to end it.

Lunamaria Hawke, the woman he used. The woman who continued to smile at him radiantly, the woman who held him in the cold nights, the woman who loved him. Her cheerful and bubbly smile was infectious and a punishment.

Shinn wanted to stop lying but he couldn't imagine what would happen to him if he would. He would be lost. He would go insane. Luna was there to keep his sanity. To keep him leveled and to keep his mind in the present. It was Luna now, it was no longer _her_. She was long gone dead. No more. No more.

Shinn faced his wasted reflection on the bathroom mirror, hangover mode and puke was rolling up his throat. He pushed it back. He wasn't going down like a greenhorn—which he was—he wasn't going to give Dearka and everyone else the benefit of teasing him. He still was a man.

He saw Luna's face on the mirror and jolted a step back, "What the hell?"

_You got a hangover? That's nasty! Geez, Shinn, you're hilarious!_

He heard Luna's bubbly laughter as he shook his head roughly.

Then Luna's grinning face was replaced by _her _confused and worried face.

_Shinn... Shinn, what's wrong with Shinn? Will Shinn be alright?_

Shinn stared at the mirror in horror, it was as if she was trying to lean out the mirror, to touch him, to check on him. Shinn stumbled back, she was still looking at him.

_Shinn got hurt—Let Stellar help. Stellar will help. Shinn…_

"No—No—Dammit—No!" Shinn yelled as he crawled away.

Her arms stretched to touch him but he backed away, away from her. It wasn't true. It wasn't. She was dead. Dead. He held her dead body in his arms, he left her body in the ocean. In ocean where they met.

_I would never forget Shinn!_

"S-Stop! Stop it!" Shinn yelled as he closed his eyes, but when he opened them she was still there. Hovering over him with that confused and worried expression on her face.

_What's wrong with Shinn? Shinn, Stellar. Shinn… Shinn doesn't remember Stellar?_

Shinn opened his eyes, unknown to him that tears were on his face. She looked at him with a sad expression, almost as if she was going to cry.

Shinn shook his head, "No… No… I would never forget you, Stellar. You're always on my mind. Stellar."

He raised his hand to reach her, she held his hand. Both of them sprawled on the ground, holding each other's hand.

_Stellar is happy Shinn remembers Stellar._

"I love you, Stellar." Shinn said as he held her in his arm, "I love you, Stellar."

_Stellar loves Shinn. Stellar only loves Shinn._

Shinn nodded, resting his chin on her shoulder, "…Stellar…" He closed his eyes, holding her, not wanting to let go.

-==-

Luna slammed her fist on the door for the umpteenth time. Why the hell wouldn't he just open the damn door?

"Oh for God's sake." Luna muttered and tackled the door open.

She marched in Shinn's room, ready to yell at him for not opening the door and for forgetting that they had to meet their friends at ten and it was already nine thirty.

"SHINN A—" Luna began but cut herself off when she saw Shinn on the ground, wasted beyond wasted and crying, muttering to himself.

"Shinn!" Luna gasped and knelt beside him, shook him out of it, "Shinn! Wake up! Shinn! It's me, Luna! Wake up, Shinn!"

"…Stellar…" Shinn muttered.

"God, Shinn, snap out of it!" Luna yelled and contemplated on slapping him or not. "Shinn!"

He wouldn't listen, he kept mumbling and mumbling. Rocking himself, his arms around himself as if he were embracing someone. He whispered her name, he nodded to the voice he heardm he cried—Luna was out of her legue, she didn't know what to do.

Luna grabbed her purse and dialed for 911, frantically speaking to them on the phone as she tried to get Shinn back to reality.

Within half an hour the medics were there and took Shinn to the hospital with Luna following them in the second car.

-==-

"Excuse me, you are?" The doctor who tended to Shinn approached Luna.

"I-I'm Lunamaria Hawke, I'm his girlfriend." Luna replied with an uneasy voice.

"Well, Miss Hawke, I am Dr. Trent." He smiled with hospitality at her as they shook hands, "Have you called Mr. Asuka's family?"

Luna shook her head, "We both lost our families during the war, Dr. Trent."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Dr. Trent said solemly.

"Is Shinn going to be okay, Doctor?" Luna asked, "What's wrong with him? I found him on his apartment unit like that—I hope it's nothing serious…"

"How long have you been going out with Mr. Asuka?" Dr. Trent asked.

"For about a year over now," Luna answered, "But what has that—"

"Miss Hawke, did you know that your boyfriend was taking drugs?" Dr. Trent asked.

"What?" Luna gasped, "No, you must've gotten it wrong—Shinn doesn't…"

"He's been taking in some Zoner." Dr. Trent said, "It seems he got an overdose. Do you know what Zoner does to a person, Miss Hawke?"

Luna shook her head, "No… I'm sorry, I'm afraid not. I try to stay away from anything connected to drugs, so…"

Dr. Trent nodded, "I see. Well, a Zoner is a kind of drug that sort of relaxes the person's mind. I understand that you both have lost your family during the war, I will be honest, this isn't an unusual case. There are many people who were left from the war who take Zoners. To zone out—hence, Zoner."

"But… Shinn would never…" Luna sobbed, "I know Shinn. We went to the Academy together, he wouldn't… He lived an honest life. For God's sake, we're soldiers. He doesn't take drugs—it's against our code of law."

"I know it's hard to belief, Miss Hawke," Dr. Trent said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, "But it is what's happening to Shinn now. He's asleep right now, we're going to isolate him from the drugs, we're going to have him sober up. I believe it would be wise to have him sent to a rehabilation center."

"What!" Luna stared at the doctor, "No… It can't be that serious!"

"I'm sorry, Miss Hawke." Dr. Trent repeated. "Would you like to see him? You can't enter his room, but…"

"Thank you." Luna replied, "I'll just call our mutual friends, first. I have to let them know what's going on."

"Of course," Dr. Trent nodded then called one of the nurses, "When you are finished, my assistant will take you to see Mr. Asuka."

Luna nodded silently and went to the phone booth, called everyone then had Elli, the assistant, guide her to see Shinn.

He was on a stretcher with needles poking him, he looked so much in pain. His eyes were open but blank, there were restraints on him as well.

_Shinn…_

"Stellar!" Shinn yelled her name as he tried to reach to her, but the restraints were stopping him from getting up. He tried to get free, he shook, he struggled, yelling her name. "Stellar!"

_Shinn…_

Luna felt her heart being squeezed as she looked at Shinn struggling on the stretcher, the nurses rushed in the room tried to hold him down. He was causing so much pain on himself, Luna cried. His skin was scratching against the leather, tearing his skin.

The nurses pushed him down and quickly injected something in him.

"Why… Why is this happening?" Luna cried then she heard her sister call her name.

"Luna!" Meyrin called and embraced her sister, "We came as fast as we could—how is he?"

Luna shook her head, "He was taking Zoner—whatever the hell that is—he got an overdose. The doctor said to take him into rehab."

"What?" They all gasped in chorus.

"Zoner?" Yzak said with disgust, "Why the hell would he…"

Lacus looked at the female assistant beside Luna, "Excuse me, but will Mr. Asuka be all right? Will he ever be back to his old self?"

"That is yet to be declared, Ma'am." Elli replied, "We have no idea for how long or how much was his in take of Zoner. There is a possibility, though, that he had taken full effects of the Zoner in his system and… well, it wouldn't look good. He wouldn't die, but it would seem that he's in a dream all the time."

"No…" Luna cried.

"There's got to be a way, right?" Cagalli asked the woman, "With all this technology, there has to be a way to save the damn boy, right?"

"I'm sorry, Ma'am." Elli shook her head, "This is the most state of the art hospital in PLANT, however, there is no known cure for Zoner. He could return to his normal self, yes, but only if he completely stops his intake of Zoner."

"What would make him even take Zoner?" Dearka asked no one in particular, "Was it because of his family?"

"I don't know." Luna sobbed, "Shinn was never like this—you know that soldiers can't take drugs. Of course he couldn't have sneaked some in the Minerva—but that was a year ago. He'd always cope well since he was thirteen! I don't know what's wrong with him…"

Then suddenly, Shinn's frozen body jolted on the stretcher, he began to struggle again, calling her name. An alarm was sounded and nurses ran back to the room.

"What's going on…?" Meyrin asked Elli.

"The dosage they gave him… it was supposed to last a few more hours before he would regain his conciousness." Elii explained, "It's the Zoner. It's pushing out the medication."

They stared at the glass window with hurt and pain in their hearts. How could this have happened to Shinn of all people?

-==-

MONTHS LATER

-==-

"How are you, Luna?" Lacus asked, visiting Luna had been a habit of hers ever since the days of Shinn's unfortunate events.

"I'm fine, Lacus." Luna smiled, "I'm slowly learning to accept it."

Lacus closed her eyes and smiled, knowing Luna was telling the truth, "You know what?"

"Hm?"

"It always painful for the ones left behind rather than the ones who left." Lacus said, "But all we can do is to mourn for a time and accept it. Whatever Shinn's reasons were… We'll just have to accept it no matter how wrong or ridiculous it may sound, we'll have to accept it."

Luna nodded, letting the breeze blow her hair softly, "I… I understand. Yet I still can't help but miss him. He was my brother, my friend and my lover."

_I'm sorry…_

Luna heard the wind whisper and a tear slid down her cheek, "There's nothing to be sorry about…"

**THE END**

**A/N: **Well, that's the end of the short one shot. I must say, I don't think it's good and I think I've lost my skills. Oh man... But please don't forget to review! I know it's not perfect but meh. No flames, please. Even if I know it's not perfect.

Please also read and review my other fanfics:

GS/GSD:  
_**Baby Bare Chest**_, _**Baby Project**_, _**Backfire!**_, _**Cagalli's Birthday Present**_, _**Caught**_, _**Deadly Love**_, _**Don't Leave Me Alone**_, _**Falling**_, _**French Bread**_, _**He Dares To Cheat**_, _**I Love You**_, _**Jokes and Harmony**_, _**Kira Knows**_, _**Lies in Love**_, _**Love IS Stupid**_, _**Loved**_, _**Maybe**_, _**Moodulator**_, _**Mother's Rival**_, _**Mushrooms**_, _**Mushrooms Strike Back!**_, _**Never Follow These Two Couples**_, _**Only Friends**_, _**Sick Day**_, _**Snowflake**_, _**The Sun**_, _**The Truth**_, _**Valentine**_, _**Vampires**_, _**Waiting**_ and _**Zala's Witch**_.

Twilight:  
_**Renesmee Gets Schooled**_

Fire Emblem:  
_**My Lollipop**_, _**Realization**_

Thank you!

Vani de Blab


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